Your Child Isn't Hiding Their Day From You
For years, we asked our son the same question after school:
“How was your day?”
And for years, we heard some version of the same answer:
“Fine.”
“I don’t know.”
“I forget.”
“Nothing.”
At first, we assumed what many parents assume. Maybe he didn’t want to talk. Maybe he was tired. Maybe he just wasn’t interested in sharing.
But deep down, we knew something didn’t add up.
Because we also knew our son.
We knew he was observant. Thoughtful. Funny. Curious. We knew things were happening during his day - moments with classmates, lessons that interested him, experiences that mattered to him emotionally.
And yet by the time he got home, those moments often felt unreachable.
What we eventually came to understand changed the way we parented - and ultimately changed the course of our lives.
“How Was Your Day?” Is Actually a Very Hard Question
As adults, we don’t often stop to think about what’s required to answer that question.
But for many children - especially children with ADHD, autism, language differences, working memory challenges, processing differences, or executive functioning difficulties - it’s an enormous cognitive task.
To answer “How was your day?” a child may need to:
retrieve hours of experiences from memory
sort through dozens of interactions and moments
decide what mattered
organize events into a coherent sequence
find the language to explain them
interpret what the listener wants to know
respond immediately, often while mentally exhausted from the school day itself
For many neurodivergent children, that’s overwhelming.
Not because they weren’t paying attention.
Not because they don’t have thoughts or stories.
And not because they don’t want to connect.
But because by the end of the day, the moments themselves can already be difficult to retrieve.
The Stories Were There All Along
One of the biggest shifts for us as parents was realizing this:
Our son wasn’t refusing to tell us about his day.
He was struggling to access it.
That distinction changed everything.
Suddenly, “I don’t know” sounded different to us.
It stopped feeling like avoidance and started sounding like effort.
We began to realize how many important moments were likely disappearing before he ever had the chance to share them:
the joke at lunch
the classmate who sat beside him
the thing that made him proud
the moment he felt confused
the small social interaction that might have meant everything
Those moments mattered deeply - not just because we wanted information, but because we wanted connection.
Like so many parents, we weren’t simply asking about school.
We were trying to understand our child’s world.
The Invisible Mental Load Parents Carry
Parents of neurodivergent children often carry a completely invisible mental load.
During the school day, we wonder:
Did they feel included?
Did someone notice they were struggling?
Did they have someone to talk to?
Did they feel successful today?
Did they feel understood?
And when our children can’t easily tell us about their day, those questions often remain unanswered.
That uncertainty can feel incredibly heavy.
Especially because so much of childhood development happens socially and emotionally - in the hallway, at lunch, during transitions, in conversations with peers.
The problem is that many of those moments never make it home.
What Changed for Our Family
Years ago, we built a simple tool for our son.
Not a company. Not a startup. Just something for our family.
The idea was surprisingly simple: help our son capture small reminders during the day so he could later retrace, retrieve, and recall the experiences he wanted to share.
A few words.
Tiny prompts.
Moments worth remembering.
And slowly, something remarkable happened.
Dinner conversations changed.
Our son began sharing stories more easily.
Not perfect stories. Not polished stories. But his stories.
We heard about classmates. Funny moments. Things he was proud of. Questions he had. Experiences that mattered to him.
For the first time, we stopped feeling like we had to piece together his world from fragments and guesses.
We were hearing it directly from him.
Every Child Has Stories Worth Hearing
One of the most important things we’ve learned through this journey is that communication is about far more than information.
It’s about identity.
Confidence.
Belonging.
Connection.
When children are able to share their experiences, they begin to build trust in their own voice.
And when parents are invited into those experiences, relationships deepen in powerful ways.
Every child has stories worth hearing.
Sometimes they simply need support bringing those stories home.
And honestly, that understanding is what became the foundation for everything we’ve built since.
❤️
Sylvia & Jarrid Hall
co-founders, pebl
